‘Failure gives you the reason and motivation for success. People who succeed do not just succeed but they have reasons why they should succeed.’Often, we hear from our parents, teachers, relatives & elders that ‘Study hard!!, this is the only time to score marks’ ‘Look at that student (often one of your relative’s child), He/she is so intelligent!’ ‘What will you do in life if you do not get good result?’
‘Look at your brother /sister; learn something from him/her.’ And so on
And student’s reaction for all this – why am I being compared to someone else? Even Master blaster Sachin Tendulkar had failed in eighth standard, why don’t they compare with him?
As a parent, you might feel hurt, worried and unsure about what has happened when you have conversations like this. Your child used to value your interest or input, but now it seems that even simple conversations turn into arguments.
Most of the parents deal with such situations. Yes, it is true that it is challenging. Parenting teens has always been an art and a science, with a bit of luck thrown in. Although frustrating and stressful for many, parenting teens can still be fun, exciting, and fulfilling.
There might be infinite reasons for the unsatisfactory performance of the child. This is not an appropriate approach to encourage or motivate a child to study. Students need a reason or reasons for acting or behaving in a particular way. This is what we call Motivation. If a student is motivated in proper legitimate and effective way, then the results could be prodigious & incredible.
Research shows that adolescents do better in school when their parents are involved in their lives and that education works best when teachers and parents work closely with one another. Here are some tips for staying involved in your child’s school life: None are designed to “control” the adolescent and guarantee stress-free parenting, but they can give you a head start at influencing a healthy, happy, and safe adolescent journey to adulthood.
Set ground rules for your child at the beginning of the academic year. From the first day of school, make certain that your child knows at what time he is expected to go to bed and get up in the morning, what they need to do to get ready for school each morning and at what time he needs to start for school.
Find out about the school’s homework policy. Homework generally plays a bigger role in your child’s grades. Find out from teachers how often they will assign homework and about how long it may take to complete. Do not do homework for your child. However, make sure that they try their best to complete assignments.
Help your child get organized. Many young teens are easily distracted. With so much to do and think about, it’s not surprising. The amount of their school work and their extracurricular activities often increases at the same time when they are going through a growth spurt, developing new relationships and trying to develop more independence. Young teens respond to these changes in varying ways, but many of them daydream, forget things, lose things and seem unaware of time.
Whatever the case, you can
Go over your child’s schedule together to see if he/she has too much going on at once. Talk about setting priorities and dropping certain activities if necessary or rearranging the time of some of them.
Help to learn good study habits. Set a regular time to do homework. Talk about the assignments. Ensure they understand what is supposed to do. Make sure they have an almanac/Diary on which to record assignments, as well as a backpack and homework folders in which to tuck assignments for safekeeping. Monitoring about the daily work which is being reflected in school almanac/ diary and regularly signing it, will help to keep a track on their academics. Help your child get started when they have to do research reports or other big assignments, perhaps by taking him to the library or helping him find sources of online information from appropriate Web sites. Help your child to avoid last-minute cramming by working out a schedule of what he needs to do to prepare for the test. – Work alongside your child to clean out his backpack or clean up his room.
Provide an environment at home that encourages learning and school activities. Provide a quiet time without TV and other distractions when homework assignments can be completed. If you live in a small or noisy household, try having all family members take part in a quiet activity during homework time.
Let your child know that you value education. Show them that the skills that they are learning is an important part of the things which they will do as an adult. Let them see you reading books, newspapers and computer screens; writing reports, letters, e-mails and lists; using math to balance your cheque book or to measure for new carpeting; and doing things that require thought and effort. Tell your child about what you do at work.
Attend school events. Be it the Annual Day or sports events or the most important one Parent-Teacher meetings do not skip it. The more visible you are, the more educators will be able to communicate openly and regularly with you. Remember, though, that many young teens are often self-conscious and want parents to be present but in the background.
Keep in touch with the school and your child’s teachers. Keeping in touch can be tricky when your child has many teachers, but at the very least it’s good to know your child’s counselor and a favorite teacher.
Make sure your child takes classes that are needed to attend college. Middle school or junior High School is by no means too early to plan for your child’s future.
Monitor how well your child is doing in school. Report cards are an indication of how well your child is doing in school. But you also need to know how things are going between report cards. For example, if your son is having trouble in Math, find out when he has his next Math test so that he can be trained accordingly. This allows you to address a problem before it mushrooms into something bigger.
Most important tips are to hold a realistic expectation and to be patient. It is important to hold children to high standards. But when young teens are asked to do the impossible, they may stop trying. Children’s motivation generally improves when parents take the steps discussed. However, patience may be required: Many youngsters need the gift of time to develop the maturity that allows them to be successful.
I hope these valuable tips will definitely help everyone to raise their children to be more responsible. With this I wish to conclude by stating the two gifts which a parent can give for their young one’s are Roots to grow & wings to fly high. Happy Parenting!!
PRADEEP J AITHAL
Senior Art Teacher